The families in your church and community have a lot going on. Some days are a nonstop hustle from breakfast to bed time, with meetings, school, extracurriculars, and more sandwiched in between. But regardless of the pace they keep, every family has a natural rhythm parents can lean into in order to invest in the spiritual and emotional lives of their kids.
On Episode 48 of the Think Orange Podcast, we’re joined by Carey Nieuwhof, father, pastor, and author of the book Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, as well as Orange’s own Holly Crawshaw, part of our Parent Cue team. Together we finish a conversation on five timeless principles that every parent can use right now. We move from big ideas to practical advice, focusing on the actions of Creating a Rhythm and Making It Personal.
There’s approximately 936 weeks from the time a child is born to when they graduate from high school (3:40)
Part 2 of Dave and Holly’s interview with Carey Nieuwhof (4:43)
What it looks like to create a rhythm in your parenting (7:05)
Every family has a natural rhythm for having spiritual conversations, and Deuteronomy 6 gives us a hint as to what some of them are (9:38):
• When you sit at home (meal time)
• When you lie down (bed time)
• When you walk along the road (drive time)
• When you get up (morning time)
Explanation of the Parent Cue app (13:35)
The average parent has over 3,000 hours of unstructured time a year (14:56)
The importance of making it [your faith] personal (18:06)
The tension parents feel that taking care of yourself is selfish (21:49)
Practical advice for how to find margin in a busy life (23:04)
Recap of the five principles of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity (29:51)
Dave’s final thoughts (31:11)
People, Places & Helpful Resources
Carey Nieuwhof is the founding pastor of Connexus Church, a growing multi-campus church north of Toronto and strategic partner of North Point Community Church. Prior to starting Connexus, Carey served for 12 years in a mainline church, transitioning three small congregations into a single, rapidly growing church. Carey is the author of several best-selling books, including the Amazon #1 best-selling Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Will Help Your Church Grow. He is also the author of Leading Change Without Losing It and co-author of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity. Carey writes one of today’s most widely read Christian leadership blogs at CareyNieuwhof.com and hosts the top-rated Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, where he interviews some of today’s best leaders. He speaks to North American and global leaders about leadership, change and personal growth. He and his wife Toni live near Barrie, Ontario and have two sons.
Holly is the Lead Writer for Life Stage Strategies at Orange, working on the Parent Cue team. Before joining the Orange team, Holly joined the staff of North Point Ministries to work with middle school students, as well as serving as the Director of Preschool at Browns Bridge Community Church. Since then she has had opportunities to speak at camps, retreats, conferences, and Sunday morning environments. Throughout her experiences over the last nine years, Holly has seen the vitalness in creating fun and engaging environments for students to connect to one another and with their heavenly father. She has also found that there is a dire need and importance for female communicators for young women growing up today.
Quotes from This Episode
Ideas to Influence the Next Generation
Excerpt from Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof:
“God is interested in writing a bigger story, and your personal growth is part of the plotline. In fact, your developing story may be more influential than you think.
That’s why parents need to let their kids see them struggle to grow. They need to see your authenticity and hear your transparency. Most of all, they need to observe up close that your spiritual, moral, and relational growth is a priority in your life. Whatever you want your children to become, you should honestly strive to become as well.
- If you want them to make church a priority, then you should go.
- If you want them to respect elders, then watch your attitude.
- If you want them to admit their mistakes, then say you’re sorry.
- If you want them to work hard, then be an involved volunteer.
- If you want them to be generous, then give freely yourself.
- If you want them to pursue God, then get alone with God.
- If you want them to be honest, then treat others with integrity.
Your kids can’t see who you are becoming if they never see who you really are. And if they never see who you are, how will they know the difference God has made and continues to make in your life? It is the firsthand look at that difference that will give them hope for their future and faith in what God can do in them.”
– Taken from Chapter 5: Make It Personal
Conversation Starters For Your Church
Do we provide age-graded resources for parents that reflect a belief that what happens at home is more important than what happens at church? What do these look like and how can we take them to the next level?
Does our church calendar reflect the importance of rest as part of a family’s rhythm? Why or why not?
What are some ways we can encourage and resource our parents, small group leaders, and staff to practice self-care?
When he’s not working as a pastor at North Point Ministries in Atlanta, Dave is usually making his family cross their arms, roll their eyes, and tap their feet while he takes “just one more quick photo” on family outings. You’ll also often find him up to his neck in “Jewish stuff” as he researches the cultural context of Jesus for his daily Instagram devotions. Learn more about Dave at daveadamson.tv.
Ashley serves as the Director of Middle School Strategy at Orange and the USA Director of Carry 117. She has worked with students in public education, athletic and ministry settings for the last 12 years. She is most passionate about resourcing the local church, communicating on stage, developing leaders, working with students and world missions. In her downtime, you’ll find her watching Friends, cheering on the Cleveland Cavaliers, traveling, reading, or on one of her Fairytale Friday Adventures.
Join Us Next Week
Thank you for listening to the Think Orange Podcast.
We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode. More importantly, we hope that when you think next generation, you think Orange.